Spiritual growth

Spiritual growth is not judged by the degree of negative emotions that arise within us - but rather on the degree of their internal and external harm

Simply because the latter is in our control, but the former is not.

External harms are the consequences of the negative emotions directed outwards in form of actions: hurting words, violent actions which disturb the peace of the other person. It is an illusion to assume that directing it outwards 'transfers' the harm. The harm on us will still be the same or even magnified. After all, we are all connected

Internal harms are the consequences of the negative emotions trapped inside  which 'rot' with time - increasingly disturbing our inner peace. It is a common mistake to focus on 'controlling' external harm without realizing that the harm still exists, but is directed internally

The goal then is not to 'control' the direction of the harm, but to neutralize it.

Neutralizing is not resisting the negativity. That would mean registering the 'negativity' and our 'dislike' of it. 'Expressing dislike' itself is negative energy. It is like adding fuel to the spark of negativity that stings and turning it into a fire that burns.

Neutralizing is more about accepting the negative emotion as is - not providing any further fuel to it; by trying to resist it, direct it, resist it, deny it, or run away from it. The spark might still sting - but it's nothing compared to a fire

The good thing is, learning to accept even negative emotions 'as is', is a 'positive' effort. The more we do it, the more our positivity increases. The more our positivity increases, we find that the fire that burnt us earlier, now merely seems like a spark that stings. The negativity is diluted. Our positivity expands and absorbs it.